"War" In The Office

Ricepot is using my computer to play WarCraft III "Frozen Throne" with Sek Long, Furball and Koala Bear. I pulak, am on the notebook, surfing the net, blogging and chatting online with Gummy. *lol*

The managers have all gone to the next room for their quarterly meeting. We, the small fries are taking this rare opportunity to *ahem* "paint the room red". Shhh...... Actually, the best time is when they go to Awana for their year-end meeting for 2 days. We have 2 full days to do whatever we like in the office - Surf the net, blast the music, go for long lunches.. Heaven, I tell you!!

But, that's only once in a year lar.. We're not thaaaaaaaat 'teruk' employees lar.. We're actually angels!! *Pfft*

Names Signed Away

Inspector, his mum and I have signed our names on the S&P agreement - All 4 copies of it, including the seller.

After the lawyer has processed the agreement, he will keep 1 of the copies, the seller will keep 1 copy, and the remaining 2 copies will be handed to us, the purchasers. As Inspector's family has already paid 1% of the deposit a week ago, they will write a cheque for the remaining 9% to the owner tomorrow. Actually upon signing of the agreement, the purchaser would have already paid the 10% to the seller. The seller was understanding and he trusts us. Besides, that house is the one just opposite of where Inspector and his family is currently living in. So, we can't possibly run away with the house, right.

Eskimo briefed us on the housing loan application, MRTA (Mortgage Reducing Term Assurance), fire insurance and we signed the relevant documents. Tomorrow, Princess would come over to my office to let me sign the application form to open a savings account, for us to do the auto repayment for the loan. Inspector's family will then pay up the balance within 90 days. Thereafter, the seller will be given 7 days to hand the keys to us. Then, the house will be officially ours!

I should be happy about this. The fact is, I wasn't. Inspector had been giving me the cold shoulder since last night. Just because I tried to voice out my opinion. But noooooo... I shouldn't be doing that. I should be obliging! As I took a half an hour drive back home from his place, my CD player belted out Michael W. Smith's "Draw Me Close". Instantly, tears flowed and I felt so awfully helpless. I've been neglecting Him recently. Sometimes I wish the whole world can just stop for a moment, but no matter how much I wish for that to happen, the world will still spin. Life will still go on no matter what. I just got to keep praying for strength and have faith in Him..

Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I'm Your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
Cause nothing else can take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You

You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near

Help me know You are near..

~~ (Michael W. Smith) - Draw Me Close ~~

Deciding The Houseowners

We are to sign the S&P agreement tonight.. I realized that there will be 3 person's names in the agreements (both S&P and the house loan) - mine, Inspector's and his Mum. They added his Mum's name in so that we won't be questioned when we declare the house for income tax, like, how did we get so much of $$ for the down payment. That at least with his Mum's name, we can use the excuse of her savings from income (she's retired now) or whatsoever for the down payment.

Somehow I have this niggling feeling in me.. I don't quite know how to explain it.. Originally, the house is supposed to be under both our names only. It's supposed to mean that we totally own the house. Both of us have the full say on the house. But now, with the addition of Inspector's mum's name in the agreement, does this not mean that his family has a say on the house as well? Granted they're dumping a huge amount for the down payment (which we truly appreciate), but with her name in it, doesn't this mean that his family has part of the control too? The house is supposed to be for the both of us only, but what if one day, they decide to transfer her name to Princess or Inspector's brother? Doesn't this also means that we're tied down by them for 30 years? What if one day, we want to sell the house, but she (or the family) does not want to sign for the release? I mean, who knows, if we've made a lot of $$, we decide to move to a bigger place, or to a better location? But then again, Inspector and I got into an argument coz of this, that he does not intend to move to anywhere in the future.

I feel like we're being controlled by his family. If anything goes wrong, it's me alone against the whole family. Or should I not think of it this way? Should I give them the benefit of a doubt - That they're trying to help us out, that they're providing a lot (the down payment and all, hence, they deserve to have a name in the agreement) for us? Should I really trust them? I mentioned this to Inspector, and he told me not to worry, coz the house is 'memang' for us only, that his parents will draft out a will for it.

Am I just being petty about things? I don't know.. Guess I should trust them?

Home Improvement Ideas & Cooking Recipes

Inspector and I have been reaaaally crazy over the house we hope we would get.

This whole week, we have been talking nothing else but the house, about what we would buy, where we would look for, where we would put them. Both sides of our families have been pouring out ideas and help to us. Mum even mentioned that she would have to start teaching me how to cook!

We have been flipping through Ikea magazines for ideas. Inspector brought back a couple of brochures from the Mapex Exhibition in Mid Valley to look at the pictures of the show units. He even bought the Square Rooms magazine (and a book "Buddha Baby" by Kim Wong Keltner for me.. Bless him! *Muakz*).

Today pulak, we went to Ikea, Macy and Harvey Norman (both in Ikano). We popped by at MPH to browse for home improvement books and magazines. I spent a while at the Cookery section and decided on getting a recipe book. For the first time in my entire 26 years, I now own a recipe book!!! I sound like a princess, right? Hey, I can prepare a decent plate of Maggi Mee or Indo Mee goreng. I can fry eggs. I can boil rice. I can cut vegetables and stir fry them. I can cook spaghetti. It's just that, I don't know all the nitty gritty stuffs. Like, what ingredients do I need to cook a certain dish, how long it takes to do something, and all that. And one wonders how could I manage to survive in Sheffield for 2 years - I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for my 'heng tais'. Five guyz cooking weekday dinners and weekend meals for me every single day... Oh, and for birthday dinners, CNY dinners, Christmas dinners, etc.. All I needed to do was to cut the vegetables and wash the dishes after meals. Because I don't take spicy food, whenever they feel like cooking chicken curry or anything spicy, they would cook an extra dish (non-spicy one) specially for me. And they would also make sure I have more than enough of food for my share. I'm THAT blessed. Then again, otherwise their mums and my Mum would go after them. *lol*

Anyway, since I would have to cook one fine day, I'd have to start learning sooner or later, right. Although actually, Inspector's been trying to stall me from cooking ever since I burnt some sausages while trying to prepare him a full English breakfast eon years ago. ;) Nevertheless, I bought this one..

Taken from Magshop website

It has more than 80 recipes ranging from soups (Thai sweet and sour soup, Tom yum goong, Udon soup) to noodles and rice (Prawn noodle salad, Nasi goreng, Pad Thai), to vegetarian (Gado gado, Green curry vegetables, Vietnamese omelette), to seafood (Balti fish curry, Prawn sambal, Steamed coconut fish), to poultry (Lemon chicken, Peking duck rice-paper rolls, Chiang mai chicken salad) and meat (Pork vindaloo, Tandoori lamb cutlets, Beef rendang), prepared and cooked in less than 30 minutes. All these for RM 19.90 only. Kinda cool... :)

So yes, that's officially my first recipe book. I can't wait to buy more books, not forgetting for desserts and cakes!!! Yay!

A Step Closer To Owning "The House"

1. We have decided on getting the corner lot last weekend.
2. Inspector's dad paid 1% of the amount as "booking fee".
3. We have made photocopies of all the relevant documents for loan application (such as the I.C. card, latest 3 months' pay slips, EA form and EPF form).
4. We have put our signatures down on the loan application form and Eskimo has submitted it to the bank.

All we have to wait now is the approval for the loan application. If it goes through, the lawyer, the original houseowner, Inspector and I will meet up, earliest next Tuesday/Wednesday to sign the agreement. So... Crossing my fingers and toes now!

In the meantime, both our families have been pretty excited, not only the both of us. Mum's planned to get the kitchen and perhaps the toilets done for us. Sis is thinking of getting us a TV. Inspector's parents would provide a fridge, dining table, a sofa set (for the second hall), the lights and air-conds. We're both looking through ideas for furnitures for the house, and how to place them.

Ooohhh... This is soooo exciting!!!

Memasang Windows XP Bahasa Melayu

Disebabkan klien project saya sekarang memerlukan Bahasa Melayu, saya terpaksa memasang pek Windows XP Bahasa Melayu.

Saya rasa amat kekok sekali.. Sudah bertahun-tahun saya menggunakan Bahasa Inggeris dalam komputer saya, tetapi sekarang saya rasa tak biasa pula. Saya pula ketawa sebab translasinya amat kelakar, seperti "download" = "muat turun", "interface" = "antara muka", "back" = "ke belakang", "home" = "rumah". Saya amat jahat, bukan? Saya rasa Bahasa Cina agak kelakar juga, seperti "menu" = "cai dan" (translasi terus dalam Bahasa Cina ialah "menu makanan").

Tetapi, kenapa tidak ada translasi untuk "edit"? Macam mana nak translasikan perkataan "filter"? Sila tolong! Terima kasih!

Jewel's Wedding & The House

Jewel's wedding was excellently organized! From the church wedding right up to the dinner at Shangri-La, Putrajaya. Everything was just soooo perfect. It sets as a benchmark, awfully hard for the rest of us to follow now. *Sighz* No $$ lar...

The church wedding was at Assumption Church. Moorish, Lily and Sue were her bridesmaids. They looked sooo sweet and feminine as they walked down the aisle before Jewel - baby blue dresses, matched with baby pink heels with a butterfly pattern on each side of the heels. It was amusing to note that the bestmen were not, uhm, very tall especially compared to Moorish and Sue. Cute, nevertheless. A couple of schoolmates attended the wedding too. Moorish, Lily and Sue got Jewel some DIY wedding gifts, and a wedding cake. It's reaaaally cute. Take a look at it..

The sugary cake. Cute, no?

After the reception, I drove home and waited for Inspector to pick me up. He and his family had viewed the house in the morning. His Dad did some PR-ing and the owner brought the price down to RM 395k. Not too bad for a corner lot, freehold somemore. The house is really "feng shui"-oriented. Everything had been done up properly, need a fresh coat of paint though, but move in condition. They made an agreement, and the owner took down the "House for Sale" sign. Next things to do, is to give 1% down payment first, settle the S&P agreement and then pay the rest of the down payment. Both Inspector and I were excited about it, so we went rounding the neighbourhood and looked at corner lot houses for ideas on how to renovate ours. Hehehe..

After that, it was time for Jewel's dinner ceremony at Shangri-La, Putrajaya. It was really, really posh there. The ambience was there, it was exquisite and I don't know, I think the attendees' behaviour did help make a difference too. She hired a jazz band to entertain the guests, got one of her uncles to be the emcee, her 2nd sister gave a lovely and comical presentation on how Jewel and her husband met (they met at a pub in KL through the 2nd sister.. Hehe), and his bestmen sang a few songs (they were really good!).

The pond outside the banquet hall

The center of the tables, decorated with lit candles in a bowl of water, surrounded with rose petals

The cute cake was cut into pieces, and we took the liberty to decorate the plate with rose petals before we took some snapshots of it. Haha.. See how crazy we could get?

A piece of the cake

For the first time, we received a wedding favor that proved to be useful. Usually it would be chocolates or small slices of cakes. We got a slice of fruit cake, wrapped in a nice golden box and a fan, with paper flowers and a handwritten note attached on it.

Fan as a wedding favor

Did I mention how crazy we were over the wedding cake? The waiter served the slices and a doll each for the newlyweds. We took the chance to snap some pictures of those too.

The dolls for the cake topping

After the dinner ended, lots of chit-chatting, he he ha ha on our table, Jewel invited us to their room. They had been upgraded to the Presidential Suite!! And that was the one and only Presidential Suite they have in that hotel!! Really couldn't believe it.. 2260 square feet, consists of two bedrooms with attached bathrooms (each with a round bath tub and a huge shower area), a separate living room, dining room, kitchenette and a small rock garden outside the living room. I felt like a royalty as I entered the suite. Not many people has the chance to stay a night in a Presidential Suite unless of course, if one's a royalty or an expat. What's more the chance to at least step in it, and that was what we were doing. All of us were in awe!!

The living room in the Presidential Suite, taken from Putrajaya Shangri-La website

It was definitely an unforgettable wedding. Almost like a fairy tale wedding, and somewhat how we had hoped our weddings would be like. Congratulations, Jewel & hubby! Next function will be full moon celebration, perhaps? Hehehe...

Hunting A House

"I think we got us a house"

The first sentence Inspector told me when we were in our usual late night phone conversation last night. It's a corner double-storey house just opposite where he and his family is currently living at. The house was put out for sale nearly 2 months ago at RM465k. His parents had been eyeing that house ever since. Last week, the price went down to RM410k. Last night, they had a family discussion and agreed to take a look at the house, and it everything goes well, Inspector and I will be the owners, his parents will dump in an amount and we will pay the rest through installments.

His dad was a bit upset when Inspector told him that he didn't want to live with them coz of all the possible conflicts that might happen. "You cannot run away from your responsibilities", he said. But then again, it shouldn't be that bad considering that if we do get the house, we would be living just opposite of them. They can just take less than 30 steps from their house gate. I just didn't like the idea that we have to live with/near them when we are about 40 minutes drive away from my parents. And besides, who would take care of my parents in the future?

Tomorrow morning, they would all go view the house. Whereas, as much as I would love to go (since my name would be in the ownership agreement, of course I should see it, right?), I have to attend Jewel's church wedding instead. And I had earlier on agreed to help Moorish to be at the church earlier to collect the wedding cake. It's a cute one. Will show you the picture later.

We'll see how things go. Tomorrow will be the decision day.

Pre-Mid Autumn Festival

It's gonna be a busy weekend. Tomorrow I'll be attending Jewel's church wedding in the morning and then the dinner at Shangri-La, Putrajaya. Sunday will be the Mid Autumn Festival, a.k.a. Mooncake/Lantern Festival. Oh boy, it's gonna be eat eat eat this whole weekend!

Lately, there's been a lot of things going on in my life lately. Tears shed, words lashed out. At times I just didn't know what to do. Rather, until now I still don't know what to do. All I can do is to hold on and have faith in God and His ways. I always believe that everything happens for a reason, but but but.. I just can't figure out what is the reason now. *Sighz* Guess I just have to take things slowly, one day at a time.. Another sad thing is that, Grace is slowly being infected with fungus.. Nins said that she might not survive.. *sob*

Oh well.. I should not bring rain before the weekend celebrations.. So, here's something to cheer myself (and hopefully you) up a bit.. The piglet version of the traditional mooncakes (in Cantonese, they call it "zhu zai beng" - piglet biscuit)..

Piglet biscuit

Cute or not? Can you see the tail? *lol*

Happy "Zhong Qiu Jie"!!!

What A Girl Wants..

.. Is a perfect man..

In random order..

• Be a gentleman (open doors, push her seat in, gives her a goodnight kiss)
• Able to understand the frustration and knows how NOT to trigger her nerves when she PMS-es
• With decent good looks (Brad Pitt-look-a-like even better!)
• Drives her around
• Makes her smile and not bring her into tears
• Someone her parents and friends would approve
• Always ready to answer the phone whenever she calls
• Shows her with loving words (not calling her a bitch or tell her to fuck off, but not to the extend of telling her "I exist because of you", or "I will always love you until the ocean doesn't touch the sand" kind of thing)
• Suprises her once in a while (a stalk of flower from the garden, have picnics or a walk in the park)
• Ambitious yet not over the top to reach for planet Jupiter
• Able to cook (at least a decent plate of Indo Mee rebus)
• Make a 5 minute phone call whenever possible during office hours to ask "How are you?"
• Admits he's in the wrong, says sorry and mean it
• Helps out with the household chores
• Challenges her yet helps her to grow (not bringing her down by calling her stupid)
• To have a sense of humor and able to laugh at her jokes (no matter how lame they can be)
• Make her heart flutters with a romantic self-composed poem, something he made himself, or sing to her
• To be a devoted husband and a doting father to her children in the future years

And, I don't know, what else? The truth is, every girl wants to be treated like a princess. Every girl wants to be worshipped to the ground by the man of their dreams. To be treated right and with respect. But in reality, a "perfect man" only exists in fairy tales. What should a girl do then? To expect less.. To compromise more.. But what if she can't compromise anymore? Or is she asking too much?

"Stoned" To Death

Just the other day, Sis' bf told her that one of his friends studying in Sydney had passed away when his house caught fire. Incidentally, my aunt living there heard about the fire but did not realize she actually knew the deceased.

What happened was that, or rather, what Sis's bf and my aunt told us was, the guy had completed his studies and was waiting for the day to go home, to fly back to Hong Kong for good. His friends threw him a farewell party and got him drunk. Really, really drunk. Unfortunately, much later after the party ended and he was in a deep sleep (after the drinking and all), the house caught fire. He was too stoned. He did not hear the commotion surrounding him, he did not feel the heat nor smell the burning fire. He eventually perished in the fire.

The thing I could never understand is, why do people like to get drunk. New Year's celebration, must get drunk. Birthday celebration, must drink to the max. Never see each other again, all the more must drink. It's your wedding day. Must "yum seng kao kao". If one wants to have fun, yes, by all means. But why go over the top to the extend that one gets a major hangover the next day, wakes up beside a pool of vomitted spaghetti with bits and pieces of meatballs? If unlucky, end up like that guy. Is it actually worth getting drunk in the first place?

I don't know, perhaps it's coz I'm not a drinker, so I would never understand. Perhaps what Cleopatra said was right, "Oh! Go get a life!" I do have a life. I do know how to have fun. I'd taken alcoholic drinks before, but I never liked the taste, so I never bothered whether I should get a life by getting drunk. I can have fun in many other ways, not neccesarily by consuming alcohol and killing all my braincells.

You know what, his friends should regret their actions. They should never forget that they killed him, when it should be a happy occasion that he had completed his studies and was about to go back to his family. I hope they learn their lesson.

Mini Cornetto, Anyone?

If you feel that indulging yourself into a pint of Haagen-Dazs or a stick of Magnum Classic is sinful, but you just want to have that teeeeeny weeeeeeny bite, no fear, Wall's has now offered Mini Cornetto, just 1/3 of the original size. Sooo small that you can put the whole thing into your mouth at one go... Okay.. Maybe two.. Or three..

Mum thought it looked so cute, so she bought a box of the Mini Cornettos yesterday for us...

RM 6.99 for a box of 12 sticks

It's reaaaaally mini, so much that you can just hold the cone by the tip of your fingers. And since it's so small, Sis and I had to eat it reaaally slow, want to enjoy it more mar!

Look how mini it is!

For a huge ice-cream fan like me, one stick is definitely not enough. Usually I don't take cold drinks nor ice-cream at this time, coz I would easily get tummy ache after that (too cold, maybe?). But what the heck, I'm so gonna go have another one now!!!

Where To Go With RM 2.5k?

I so need your help.. In the previous entry, I wrote that my firm awards a free trip for staffs who have given their service for 5 and 10 years. Well, I'm eligible for it as of last Thursday and it's valid for 1 year.

They take our marital status on the 5th anniversary date into account. If (s)he is married, then they award him/her up to RM4k for the travel package and RM500 cash allowance. But if (s)he is singe, then it's only up RM2.5k for the travel package and RM500 cash allowance. I'm still single, so yes, I can only accept the latter option.

Where can I go with RM2.5k? I can either get a package that cost more than RM2.5k and pay the remaining from my own pocket, or choose a package that is lower than RM2.5k (no, the firm won't refund me the balance). Bear in mind that I'll be going with Inspector, so he's expected to pay for his share (or we can both split up the bill).

We've thought of going to Tokyo and at the same time, visit Gummy and this other Japanese family friend. But the packages to Tokyo are at least RM2.5k and we have to allocate at least another thousand or two for transportation, food and shopping.

We've also thought of going to South Korea (go to Jeju Island, see "Jewel of the Palace" la) and buy LV imitation handbags. *lol* But we are not familar with the country, the culture and the language. I have a Korean family friend there but it would still be difficult.

We've been to Sydney last year. We don't mind going there again to visit my aunt, but we'd prefer to go somewhere we've never been before. Would love to go to New Zealand, but I heard it's rather expensive.

The next best thing is to go to Hong Kong. Sis' bf is there, anyway. The package is relatvely cheap, so we can opt for a much nicer accomodation (perhaps a 5 star hotel?). But then again, Dad thinks it's no point coz we'd be spending more time travelling around than hibernating in the hotel.

Where should we go? And when? We're thinking sometime end of the year.. But, have to see where will our destination going to be. Any suggestions? At least 4 days 3 nights would be nice (since I'm given free 5 leave days!). Preferably Free & Easy, coz we don't want to spend most of the time travelling in the coach or being brought around to the tourist attraction places. So, yeah, Free & Easy, but maybe with the options of half day sightseeing, or something.

I can wait for Matta Fair, but I still need to decide on a destination, right. Please help me. If I do choose your suggested destination, I'll buy you a souvenir. Hehe..

To Live Or Not To Live With In-Laws?

Do/Would you live with your in-laws? Or do/would you like living with your in-laws?

Inspector's parents are pestering us to get married. "Get it done", "Fai fai chui" (faster, faster), so they said. "We're not getting any younger, so is Lil' Patchee's father". Helloooooooooo... My dad is not even rushing us into it, don't pull him into the waters! We really don't understand why the hurry. We're only 26! So what if his parents married early and had 3 kids when his mum was 26? Mum had me when she was 30.

Anyway, the point is, "you already have a roof over your head". Yes, the house that Inspector and his family is living in is supposed to be under his name. But now that Princess & her family wants to move in with them too, wouldn't it be too crowded to have 8 people (with 6 cars, might I add) living in a double storey house? There would be no privacy, no freedom, and we have to live under their rules. Not to say that I don't want to live with them, but how about my parents? Inspector's mum once mentioned that "No choice, married women have to live away from the parents". I digress that. They are lucky coz they have their sons to live with. My parents have only two daughters, and if Sis do get married to her current bf, she'll be moving away to Hong Kong. Who else are gonna take care of them when I myself live nearly an hour away from them? I don't have the freedom to invite my parents to stay with us once a while, or they come visit us unnoticed (I expect to give them a duplicate set of the house keys so that they can come over whenever they like).

We'd feel like the house doesn't belong to us. It'd really feel like as if we're just "tumpang-ing" in the house, with nothing to call our own. Well, maybe except for all the things in our bedroom. That's about it. With the demanding Princess in the house, it would be even chaotic. Imagine, 3 women arguing about what curtain colors to hang at the living area. Don't want to clean the house cannot. Want to walk around the house naked also cannot. We would both go crazy!!! (not about the part not being to walk around naked laaa).

We both dread it. We'd like to live somewhere between both sides of the families but we don't have the $ to buy a property of our own. Most people that I've asked said it would be better not to live with the in-laws. But one colleague is very happy living with her in-laws.

How should we go about this? Would love to hear your point of views.

5th Anniversary Year In The Work Force

Every year this time, I would ponder over the same issue - My career.

Today marks my 5th anniversary year with my firm, yet I don't know whether to be elated about it. Being with the firm for 5 years is a milestone for us here. The staff is given a "Long Service Award" - a free trip to any destination with a specific amount (and extra 5 days of leave for the trip. On top of that, (s)he is allocated an additional of 4 days each for annual leave and medical leave (all in all, 20 annual leave days and 22 medical leave days). The next milestone is 10th year service.

This is my first job. During these 5 years with the R&D, I've gained a lot of exposure and skills like system analysis, development, troubleshooting and support. I've worked on projects alone and in a team. Besides focusing on my job scope, I've participated in various fields like the ISO Quality Audit implementation, understanding the works of Income Tax Double Deduction claims, and organizing the company's annual events such as the Annual trips and dinners.

I've really learnt a lot from my job. I guess this is the advantage of being in an SMI (small & medium industry) firm. The downside is that the pay sucks (it's waaaaaaaay below the average market rate) and so far, I've only been promoted once, which is the Senior level. There's no way I can go up to be a Manager, since NR is very much comfortable in his position. Besides, he don't intend to leave the firm.

I've always wondered how is it like being in a bigger or multinational firm. Should I be vigorous in the career ladder climbing? It would be nice to move on into a new direction, into a different industry, with a better pay. Then marriage comes into the picture. Sooner or later, I'll build a family. Do I need that extra stress (the higher I climb in an MNC firm, the more responsibilities I'll have, therefore more stress) then? Over here in my firm, there's not much of politics going on, I don't get so much of stress, I don't bring work home, I get to leave at 6pm, and I'm very comfortable with my colleagues. We're very close-knitted with each other, so much that we practically know each other's life stories (We're like a huge family!). Leaving for a new firm would mean having to start all over again. Do I want to do that? This firm is a very good place to be in for married women. Should I be contented? Some day, I would want to quit to become a full-time housewife and mother. Would this not justify the amount of $, sweat and tears Dad & Mum had put in all these years to provide me a good education, to do E&E Engineering in the University of Sheffield, #1 uni in UK (at that time la.. I don't know if they're still #1 now) for that particular course?

I don't know what to do, what decisions to make. Two years ago, I was offered to work for a competitor with a salary twice higher than what I was getting then. I rejected the offer and during last year's appraisal, Dexter came to know about it and gave me a "counter offer" adjustment. It still wasn't enough, but I'm at my comfort zone.

At the moment, I'm filled with mixed feelings. On one hand, I'm quite happy with where I am, with what I'm doing. On the other hand, I don't know if I should be feeling this way, if I should reach for the stars so that when I'm old, wrinkly and toothless, I would not regret anything for having to gone so far. I really don't know what should I do...