Memory.. Little threads that hold life's patches of meaning together. ~ Mark Twain

Friday, February 18, 2005

You Are My Sunshine

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

I was thinking of writing about sunshine, and this nursery rhyme came into my mind. Gosh..I had always loved this song ever since I was a little kid. There were numerous favourite rhymes as well, but I'll write about them some day.

"You Are My Sunshine" keeps me cheery everytime I sing it. During my much younger days, I would sing it loud and I could have sang that to Sis when she was a baby. As I grew older, I sang it softer till it becomes just a hum or sang it louder IN my mind alone. I think I sang it to a couple of people on separate occasions - Inspector, close colleagues, my 'heng tais' - and it tickled them. Once in a blue moon is fine, but not often. Inspector already thinks that I'm childish and immature, I don't think I should aggravate it!

It's tiresome to be an adult when sometimes I just want to let out the child in me. The child who loves Care Bears and Smurfs. The child who does a little skip when she walks. The child who jumps around in joy. The child who loves playing in the rain. The child who cares less about being hurt or taken for granted. The child who thinks that everything is like an adventure. I let her out every once a while. Well... Perhaps a little bit too much at some point of time. I feel free when she's free. But reality check, I'm turning 26 this year. I have to act like my age. I have to act mature. "Grow up a bit, can or not?", some people keep telling me. That exhausts me and annoys the hell out of me, you know. I don't want to imagine how will it be like if I really do live up to 81 years. But don't you feel like me sometimes? Just be gay and merry and forget about responsibilities and burdens once a while? I guess that's what holidays are for, huh.

By the way, do you know that "You Are My Sunshine" is actually a sad song about heartbreak? All my life, I thought it's a happy song!! I shouldn't have checked out its origins, that kind of ruined its image, especially it being a nursery rhyme, don't you think so? And believe it or not, it's an official song for Louisiana. What the heck? I sure hope the people living in Louisiana are all not brokenhearted..

Oh well, I'm still a kid at heart. So it's still a happy song for me. I'm erasing these new facts I found, out from my mind.. *chanting* It's a very happy song! It's a very happy song!

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

Monday, February 14, 2005

Sky-Rocketing V's Day

V's Day is getting too commercialized as the years go by. Almost 15 years ago, a stalk of red rose would probably cost at most 5 bux. Nowadays, a bouquet of a dozen roses is at least 200 bux!! Even Footitie's 10 stalks of tulips for Freckles is around that price range. That's pretty absurd!! It's a cut-throat business out there, I tell you.

I for one, am glad that Inspector did not get me a bouquet of flowers, chocs nor teddy bears. To me, they're simply a waste of $$ and flowers die within 1 week. I can't keep them, coz when I did the last time, insects kept coming and 'nested' amongst the dead tiger lilies despite numerous attempts of Baygon-spraying. I have to admit, it's a nice feeling to receive gifts as token of love, but with the madness going on nowadays, I'd rather not receive anything. Really.

And did I mention about the sky-high prices for set dinners? They can really burn a hole in your wallet. We had dinner at The Ship Restaurant together with Footitie, Freckles, Chef and Xiao Ping. V's Day set dinner was 69++ bux per person! Seriously ridiculous lar.. So we settled for ala carte (that also, the prices were jacked up!), and the total bill came up to less than 300 bux. Not too bad, I guess. Besides, it was always more fun to go triple dating. Much more things to talk and laugh about. And observing other couples around us where the guyz were probably trying to impress their girls but actually sweating inside when they paid their bills. Hey, if I want my guy to impress me, I'd rather to have a private table for two at home or something, self-cooked (as long as it's cheap, take-away food also no problem!) candlelit dinner and soothing music at the background. Not a table for two in a restaurant, filled with other couples, tables set so near each other where you can probably hear the other table's conversation, and the dinner costs a bomb!!

Oh well, V's Day has come and gone. We have all decided that we shall have our V's Day dinner next year at Kaki Corner in Cheras. Chicken chop and mashed potato with bowls and bowls of brown sauce, and jumbo juices, which will probably end up not more than 100 bux for the 6 of us. Ooh.. Not forgetting, sitting under the moonlight. Lagi romantic, right. As long as it doesn't rain lar.. Hehe..

Happy V's Day, everyone!

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Wedding Proposals

Inspector posed this question to everyone during dinner after our yearly 'Ops Angpow' - 'Are engagement rings and proposals necessary?' How am I supposed to answer that, right?

Which girl wouldn't dream of being proposed and have an engagement ring around their finger? Blame it on the Western culture (on TV, novels and magazines) if you want to. We grew up dreaming that our knights in shining armour would go down on bended knee, holding a diamond ring, asking us "Will you marry me?". Then the wedding would take place in a church or at a lovely garden, we would walk down the aisle and say "I will". Just like every other girl, I had dreams like that. Had, in the sense that there is no way I'll be walking down the church aisle since Inspector nor I are Christians. And he did not really propose. It was more of like a mutual discussion about going for my long service award trip as a married couple and that was it. I don't consider it as a proposal really. Therefore, no engagement ring whatsoever.

Back to the question, the girls argued that proposals are indeed necessary as a symbol of commitment that she's the one. It's like how when people normally date around, a guy would ask "Will you be my girlfriend?" and if she accepts, then it's official that they're a couple. The concept applies here too. Asking the girl to marry him, means that he has decided that she's the one he wants to spend his entire lifetime with, to grow old with. The engagement ring is like a proof that they have decided to get married. The guyz, on the other hand, argued that engagement rings are just a waste of $$. If they have the $$, then they'll get it. Otherwise, it's gonna be only the wedding rings.

Somehow, I felt more upset after he posed the question. If he had asked his friends without my presence, I would be ok about it. But now that he asked with me being there, and should he ever go down on bended knee, it would make me feel like as if he was obliged to do that. I won't like that kind of feeling..

Later that night, he asked me "Do you want an engagement ring? I don't think it's necessary lor". I just shrugged. What else do you want me to say?

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Gong Xi Fa Cai

It's a very quiet affair back in Dad's hometown. Ever since Yeh Yeh passed away, there had been so much of family rifts amongst his children (Dad excluded). Now, most of them just don't come back for reunions anymore, not even for Nai Nai's sake who had been so disappointed waiting for all of them to come back. They'd rather all spend the CNY with their own families.

It's sad really.. Despite blood being thicker than water, I think ego and pride are even thicker. Every year, all of them would gather at Yeh Yeh & Nai Nai's place for several nights. Some would be playing Blackjack. Some would be playing Mahjong. The children would be lighting fireworks. The rest would be lingering at the living room, watching TV, chatting with each other and munching CNY tidbits. It was oh, so lively back then. This year? Only me, Mum, Sis and 5th Ku played Mahjong, while a younger cousin lit fireworks with his neighbourhood friends.

If I am Nai Nai, I would be disappointed as hell. The family head may have gone, but does she not mean anything to the rest of them? Her birthday's next month, I wonder how many ppl will turn up for the dinner. We shall wait and see..

Till then, happy CNY and drink lots and lots of water!!! CNY tidbits are very heaty!

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Hippy Chick's Announcement

Received an e-mail from Hippy Chick that she has set her wedding registration on the 25th Feb. That is in 3 weeks time! Whoppeeee! Her wedding ceremony will be on the 4th June at her hometown. Am pretty excited about it, although we're already knew about her wedding plans much earlier when we met up with her for Ketua's wedding last November. ;)

We made a boo-boo though.. Hippy Chick wanted Labu and Hippo to be her emcees during her wedding dinner. I replied that it's better to choose either one instead of having both of them together, coz that "Hippo has annoyed Labu enough already". In the end, after a few rounds of e-mails, she decided on Hippo. And so, she wrote an e-mail to me and Hippo to invite him to be her honourable emcee, TOGETHER with our previous "conversations"!!

SHIT! He read that part and he asked me about it. I was like, "FUCK!" Called Hippy Chick immediately, and she "pandai-pandai" tried to "recall" the e-mail. Too lateeeee... Labu felt like strangling her.. Hehe..

Anyway, what's done was done. Just got to cover up a bit lar.. Hippy Chick said I'm good at that. *lol* Oh well.. Lesson learnt here, don't simply forward e-mails without proofreading the content. Hehehe..

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Salary Increment

I finally got my pay slip. Needless to say, it's damn disappointing. Dexter gave me a little bit lower than what he "promised" me. During the appraisal week, he found out that I was being offered twice the salary from a competitor firm. What he didn't know was that this offer was given about a year or two ago, but what he could fight for me was just 10% higher than my previous salary. *Sighz* Well.. At least I have finally passed the "mark", but no matter how much of % increment, it will still be so much lower than the average market rate for a person in my field with 4 and 1/2 years experience. *Double sighz*

Not that I'm trying to be greedy or something. It's just that, it's a bit disheartening knowing that it's just the pay that really sucks over here. And the management structure is getting more political and "kelam-kabut". That I don't see the future in me climbing the organization. And the fact that I don't think I can stand NR any much longer. On the other hand, the colleagues are nice and helpful. Flexible working hours and I can always "cabut" at 6 sharp.

Am I complaining too much? *Triple sighz* To move on or to stay on? That question has always been playing in my mind. What to do? What to doooo?