Memory.. Little threads that hold life's patches of meaning together. ~ Mark Twain

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

To Propose Or Not

Sometime during the last weekend, Inspector was talking to a friend about weddings, the 'pantang larang's and stuffs like that. Then she asked him if he proposed to me. She was a bit upset when he told her that he did.

Not that she was yearning for his love whatsoever. She's getting married next year, a couple of weeks before us. She and her fiance had already booked the venue and they're now scouting around for a suitable bridal package. She was upset that her fiance did not propose to her. It was a case of both of them going out for dinner, went to the jewelry shop to collect the rings after that, and that's it. She had hoped he would propose. She even hinted to him numerous times. But he did not do anything. She's taken a while to accept it, but she was disappointed with the way she had to accept it.

That brought me back to this post I wrote sometime early this year, when Inspector posed the question to his friends, "Are proposals necessary?". Somehow, now that I've been through it, I feel that proposals are indeed necessary. I'm not talking about getting a huge diamond ring, romancing your loved one by the beach or with a candlelight dinner, going down on bended knee and all that, but merely a simple "Will you marry me?" is more than enough. When the guy proposes, it goes to show that he's dead serious on wanting to spend the rest of his life with his loved one.

I don't know about the most of you, but in my case, proposal was THE sign. Inspector and I have had the serious talk about settling down for more than 1 year ago. Nothing constructive happened, everything was just talk, right ear in, left ear out. One day we would say "Let's find a venue, look around for a suitable package". We would scout around. We would talk about our findings. Then they just stopped there. Few months later, the process repeats. I'm pretty sure my friends Gummy, Moorish and Sue would have been pretty immune to all these by now. Heh! Until the day he proposed. That's when he started showing that he was serious about the whole thing. We tentatively decided on the date, arranged an appointment with a Wedding Sales Co-ordinator from a renowned hotel in KL, and drafted out the guest list.

I think usually when a couple have been together for so long, the girl would wait for THE day the guy proposes. Well, not that the girl can't propose. I mean, if the girl wants to, by all means, go ahead. But anyway, as long as one party has not officially asked THE big question, the other party would still be left wondering , "Where do we stand? Is (s)he serious about us?"

One year ago, Furball and his gf had purchased a house, they had planned to get registered. When Furball finally proposed to his gf, it stroke her into her head that it was real. That they were really serious and was finally getting married. But alas, it was through the proposal that she realized she did not love him anymore and she admitted that she had feelings for another guy. Could it be that she was tired of waiting for him?

I don't know.. To propose or not, it's entirely up to you guyz. If you feel that your partner needs to be romanced, if you have the means to do that, yeah, why not. Otherwise, it's enough to just ask her, "Will you marry me?". For me, it was definitely more than enough. The ring was a bonus. *wink*


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