Moving On From A Friendship

As I was reading back the previous entry, I realized that I was very bitter towards the end of it. It's not that I don't care if I've lost my best friend. As much as I tell everyone that I'm not bothered anymore, or I tell myself "so what?", it's really not that easy to move on. Even when I kept telling everyone that I would not wish her on her birthday, I eventually did..

Yeah, I can always look for another best friend, but will I actually want to put in my outmost effort and sweat into the next friendship? Or rather, am I actually willing to put all my trust towards another friend? Throughout the years, I've tried to be as much of a good friend as I could be for everyone. When I was about to think that, "hey, she's a true friend", then it happens. Taking me for granted, backstabbing me, and this, money issue.

I'm pretty much tired of all these, you know. I really thought my friendship with Cleopatra could really pull through. Sad to say, that didn't work. Although we're now down to Hi Bye basis only, I still can't help but to hope that we can renew our friendship, that we can be the same way we were 3-5 years ago. That we can still confide in each other. That we can just talk about anything under the sun. That we can ignore our personality differences..

thefirstChristmas' post about leaving the best friend behind also prompted me to write this entry. All I can say is that, it's not easy to up and forget about the friendship, about everything that has happened. True, it's sad that the friendship has ended. We try our best to keep the friendship, but if our best friends don't appreciate our efforts, there's nothing much we can do anymore. Even until now, I've said a couple of "sorrys" to Cleopatra, regardless of who was right and who was wrong back then. If she didn't see the sincerity in me, then I have to accept it.

What we can do is to feel truly blessed that we've had shared a truly memorable friendship with them, wishing them that they are happy wherever they are in whatever they are doing and try to move on. It's not easy, but that's what we should do.. And I'm still trying.. Who knows, I might actually have found my true friends in the 5 guyz who had been standing in front of me all along.. My "heng tais".. :)