Memory.. Little threads that hold life's patches of meaning together. ~ Mark Twain

Monday, August 01, 2005

I Could Have Been A Mrs. Today

It's 1st August. Just another ordinary day. Another Monday. It's also Tai Lou's birthday. Oh, and a couple more friends' birthdays too. But other than that, it's just another day.. Until I realized that I could have been legally married today. I could have woken up tomorrow morning and realized that I was no longer a Ms. but a Mrs. *Gasp*

Last December, Inspector and I discussed about bringing our relationship to the next level someday. His parents were nevertheless, excited about it. "You must register next month!" It didn't help when his grandmother warned us about not getting married during the Year of the Rooster. "Bad luck!" We weren't prepared, we were not even financially stable yet, and they expected us to get registered in less than a month's time??

Everything happened like lightning.. We arranged a dinner with Dad & Mum for Inspector to "pop" up the question. They were of course shocked, Mum thought I was pregnant! Then I called up JPN to ask about the registration procedure. We made photocopies of any relevant documents and took passport-sized photographs. Wan Nei bugged me about looking for the suitable date through the Chinese Almanac ("tong sing") or consult the fortune teller at Petaling Street. Took me quite some time to compile all the suitable dates (must "ngam" mine & Inspector's birth year, as well as our parents' birth years. Really very "ma fan", I tell you!). We had to convince Inspector's parents that January was waaaaaaaay too early, that we would get registered later in the year but hold the ceremony the year after that.

Applied leave on New Year's Eve to go down to JPN Putrajaya. We filled the form, and requested for 1st August. The officer told us that we were too early. "Tak boleh lar, paling awal pun 6 bulan sebelum tarikh itu". But she jotted down our contact numbers on the diary for 1st August and told us to go back sometime in February/March. We left the place together with the form and hadn't gone back there ever since then..


We nearly handed the form to the JPN officer

We were not prepared yet, even now. Even though it's just 30 bux and it's just placing our signatures onto a piece of paper, that alone can change our lives forever. The fact that we are not financially stable yet (We've done all the calculations, we don't have enough to want to host a decent wedding dinner!), we are not ready for the next level yet (not THAT soon anyway), it just don't feel right for us to rush on it. What's more, being pressurized by anyone.

How do you know when are you ready? How do you know that, yes, it's time for us to settle down? It's amazing how some people, after 8-9 months of dating, are ready to walk down the aisle.. Me and Inspector on the other hand, after 8-9 years of dating and we're still not ready for it.

We figured that, perhaps within the next 2 years lar. Maybe by then, we'll be ready for marriage. Maybe by then, we'll head down to Putrajaya again, absolutely sure of the decision, that we are ready and prepared to be committed to each other for the rest of our lives with no regrets.

Until then, I shall remain checking the "Ms." box in all my forms..


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